Category Archives: Glory and triumph

Deep Meditations on the Crisis of Global Capital

I have a 4 month supply of canned beans, chili and salsa in the kitchen cabinet. It’s because I don’t know what I already have, and I keep buying more.

I am accidentally excessive. But it seems like a symptom; too much capacity for sustenance, too much winning.

While I can find many things about me and my life lacking (everyone can I am sure), with a good accounting it seems more about excess, specifically about too much not being enough.

There’s specific neurosis/anxiety around this for some, hoarders and such, but mine comes from indifference (at least in this case), and a casually wrong estimation of supply and need.

The ‘winning’ is possible because, simply, I have too much capacity to buy, and the price is too low to make it something painful, something to notice. People with much less earnings than I can still afford this indifference, and on the other hand, I imagine there are people who have too much capacity to buy thousand dollar items. So there is some sense of place on the scale of indifference to spending, where we can locate ourselves in the present. And there’s the historic moment where we can all express more economic power to buy as never before (color tv, air travel, transportation), as well as afford this indifference at some level.

The fact one can spend and not lose, that we can store, also means there is security and stability as a backdrop for this “too much of not enough”.

In Oakland have a warehouse that I store things in, and its not used for much else, with locks on doors and a fence. Outside along Wood street are many homeless, who accumulate many things that spill over from their shelters into the street. The area attracts a lot of illegal dumping too. In a concentrated space are different types of excess, those who have the capacity to be excessive and secure the goods, those who accumulate it and rely on its relative worthlessness, along with their presence and their community to secure it, and what is worthless and needs to be expediently disposed of, what must become ownerless, as there is no vessel to contain it.

And yet worth and worthlessness are local, relative to this place, this urban area, this part of the country, this country, which is a kind of meta-container guiding collective judgement, and independent action, on what to do with all this stuff. Pick up each of our piles, or those now unclaimed, and dump them in a very different place across the world, and the rush to ownership and value would change rapidly.

It’s not in the thing itself, and only modified by how the thing is used or guarded. Treasure becomes trash, or the other way around. What the saying omits is … what do we become when our treasure is trash, or our trash is treasure? And is what we then do, our next action, guided by a sense we have of that thing, such as its “usefulness”, or what we can exchange it for, or our emotions about it? In arrogance we might say it doesn’t matter, we downsize and minimalize to express our mastery and independence from imposed values, those who can afford to.

But it seems for me, independent of the specifics, what I have, what I own, what I keep, what I justify, that this highly relative economy of stuff, consumed or simply kept, wanted or needed or just fetishized, is something about desire, something elusive, like a cup filled that never reaches the top, one I sip from but it doesn’t explain where the liquid has gone, where the level is always something other than I thought, in a dreamlike way. I can’t get a grip on it.

And it seems this unknowable and inestimable aspect of desire suggests something deeper, that at it’s core I am spending too much of what I don’t know, and on what I don’t need.

And this suggests an even more fundamental, root problem, that I have too much canned beans, chili and salsa, enough for 4 months! And that is what I must now contend with.

H. R. Options Launches New Website!

   
    
    
    
   

Well, that didn’t work in the 90s so why now…

Why should I have a personality?

I remember the Toyota ad campaign that ran in the early 80’s. There were ones where people take a characteristic jump of enjoyment after sharing their Toyota story? It was before that. It’s the traditional love triangle; man, woman, car. He’s not sure whether it’s him or his Toyota she truly loves. So goes the misery of consumption; exiled from knowing desire fully, we prefer to act as if our mad dash after glittering ideals will produce a surrogate pleasure, a love of our own lacking life. Discontented civilization is captured by the dialectic of a plenitude in which we cannot share and a base existence we always exceed, surplus and lack. There is too much, but there is not enough.

Car or girl, there is an urgency to having it all, or trying to. So if this is the dominant reality of the culture, the story told again and again, to exceed, are cultural arenas able to develop some resistance, barricade themselves against this, or do the echo and amplify it.

The Best-Looking Thing I Ever Wrote.

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But not really the best read. I think it was a bit of a droll approach, this post-revolutionary context; the “what do we do now?”

But to write and print 1000 pamphlets on an offset press, burn the films and plates and ink it and run it myself, that was something I value and won’t forget.

I’ll create a PDF and post it.

Signs of Times Past

These were made in Chicago or Emeryville or Columbus or Oakland. Generally filling up the time I had before I went to work. Generally small and simple and underpowered by ideas. Largely made for no exact reason, surely with some hope that something might surprise (myself). Generally an expression in no particular direction.  – t

BrianI was making signs like this, and I still like them, because I know I was very disappointed, but I am not sure if it was Brian Wilson, or some other more tangible Brian. I know I meant it.

All the Good ThingsI was doing these ice cream pictures a bit, I remember specifically on a visit to Calif. eating a lot of ice cream on this project. Good idea.

From the Curious George thing.There were a lot of variations on this curious george thing, but it started reminding me of someone else’s stuff (that Brian?) and I quit it.

To remember I did thatA 2×3 inch reminder.

The Commandment
I did a few of these on tie dye shirts from the thrift store – the California dead head commandment to enjoy, a flag of sorts

smoothe blotchI was trying to make really shit looking textures that I knew would hold lint and dust. And then smooth circles, as the subject.

Time of the Signs
Another time sign.  These are labor, by the hour – It must have included time for spacing out, or I didn’t report my hours accurately.

Signs of the time One of the GuyThe Guy – This meaning won’t fix for me, so i still like it.

MomAnother 1990s time waster before going to work. That was my mom’s hair in 1974

Least work possibleI was trying to find the smallest scraps to make things on, with sharpie and such. Fastest, cheapest, worst.

Injured hand photosI was doing a lot of these pictures in my last year at SAIC. I should have scars from it.

Idle Culture WorkerI am not even sure I made this. I definitely might have.

Hooray celebration thing Hooray celebration thingThe hooray thing; something to do.

Hang upGood thrift store style item. I remember a His and Hers two car garage door in Indiana that always impressed me.

Francy's ButtFrancy and the fisherman, printed on the iris printer and artsy rag paper at the digital pond.

Calvin KleinThe Calvin Klein thing was pretty extensive and these are about the only 2 things I can look at from it and not feel sick. I would like to forget it all completely. My parents, me.

An Artist's NameA woman had said I had an artist’s name, which really grossed me out.

 

 

Winwin Loselose

Obviously trying to make this as gross as possible

deleuze-guattariA fan painting, and I think I made up their middle names but maybe not.

EnjoymentAlways with the enjoy/enjoyment thing. Maybe it was Zizek, but I never got closer to it by writing it.

Trash
I threw out a full trashcan of cassettes. It was over.

Asking
Direct solicitation

Nothing
This is not old, not old at all

Death Near Oakland

Green Lawn Cemetery: Convenient, Beautiful, Scenic Views, Nice Dog-walkin.

Discarded Graveside Wreaths
Discarded Graveside Wreaths: Straw, Staples, Cheap Plasticized Cloth
Tree Damage
Tree Damage to a Cement Crypt
Christmas is coming, for living and dead
Christmas is coming, for living and dead

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Log of Life
Log of Life
End of Story
End of Story
Hard Pillows for Eternal Rest
Hard Pillows for Eternal Rest
Namesake
Namesake
I imagine that perhaps there is not mate: who occupies the other half? Renters?
I imagine that perhaps there is not mate: who occupies the other half? Renters?
Woodsman
Woodsman
The Ultimate Recliner
The Ultimate Recliner
Relations
Relations

Wax Stack

Some albums I had pulled out for listening fun. Or just staring at album art…

You can look up Lisa online. She performs at Senior Centers with her daughter. Bill is dead. They really look like they stepped out of Star Trek c. 1967
You can look up Lisa online. She performs at Senior Centers with her daughter. Bill is dead. They really look like they stepped out of Star Trek c. 1967
... they can barely be listened to.
… they can barely be listened to.
Tropicale Style
Tropicale Style
I found this in a cache of similar stuff in the Bay Area, but thought I had got it in Minnesota, which would make more sense. It's refreshing. Salvation Army sponsored
I found this in a cache of similar stuff in the Bay Area, but thought I had got it in Minnesota, which would make more sense. It’s refreshing. Salvation Army sponsored
Today is my favorite, Al is always odd guy out. Squinter
Today is my favorite, Al is always odd guy out. Squinter
I always liked the haughtiness of TSOL. Or that they seemed to have so much pretense. Silly, Fun.
I always liked the haughtiness of TSOL. Or that they seemed to have so much pretense. Silly, Fun.
I liked it.
I liked it.
One of my favorites. I'M NOT A ROBOT EITHER!
One of my favorites. I’M NOT A ROBOT EITHER!
Nice
Nice
Its a kind of sophistication.
Its a kind of sophistication.
Amazing. True Jersey types in some way, total studio singers, purely non-skaters. California Twist? Yeah right
Amazing. True Jersey types in some way, total studio singers, purely non-skaters. California Twist? Yeah right
Kind of amusing how soft it is. I thought it might be the house band for Radio Shack.
Kind of amusing how soft it is. I thought it might be the house band for Radio Shack.
Kinda pretentious pop moog but a nice listening album
Kinda pretentious pop moog but a nice listening album
Parallel Lines cover. One of my favorite top 40 albums, along with the Cars
Parallel Lines cover. One of my favorite top 40 albums, along with the Cars
I imagine them posed in their pink leather suits for hours to get this photo right, before digital editing, the frozen expressions, the perfect spacing, the slight forward lean. I hate the music.
I imagine them posed in their pink leather suits for hours to get this photo right, before digital editing, the frozen expressions, the perfect spacing, the slight forward lean. I hate the music.

IMG_0006

Hilarious 60s cover. Psycho horn player. Why does it remind of Suicidal Tendencies
Hilarious 60s cover. Psycho horn player. Why does it remind of Suicidal Tendencies
I always found this cover intense
I always found this cover intense
Sadist
Sadist
One of my first thrift store finds ever. like from the 80s
One of my first thrift store finds ever. like from the 80s
An amazing cover. They rock like neanderthals
An amazing cover. They rock like neanderthals
Such an amazing record.
Such an amazing record.